Gottman Method Therapy
Gottman method therapy is an approach to couples therapy designed by Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, a married couple who studies the science behind relationships. They developed the Gottman method based on findings from their research on what key factors predict relationship success versus relationship failure.
The Gottman method compares a healthy relationship to a house, calling it the “Sound Relationship House”. This house is held up on both sides by trust and commitment, showing that a fulfilling long term relationship relies heavily on these two components. Inside of the house are seven additional components essential to a successful relationship which include:
Building love maps: understanding your partner’s world, such as their hopes, dreams, values, and experiences.
Sharing fondness and admiration: nurturing positive feelings like affection and gratitude.
Turning towards instead of away: responding to your partner’s bids for connection.
The positive perspective: viewing each other and the relationship through a positive lens.
Managing conflict: handling disagreements in a constructive manner.
Making life dreams come true: supporting each other’s life goals.
Creating shared meaning: developing a shared sense of purpose and core values.
The Gottman method also recognizes four negative communication patterns that often predict relationship dissatisfaction which include criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. A major part of the Gottman method therapy is recognizing and correcting these behaviors to encourage healthier interactions.
In sessions, a therapist focuses on the areas of concern identified by the couple and guides partners through exercises and discussions based on the principles of the Gottman method. According to the Gottman Institute, “Interventions are designed to help couples strengthen their relationships in three primary areas: friendship, conflict management, and creation of shared meaning.” The Gottman method theory aims to create more resilient, fulfilling, and loving relationships by addressing core issues and providing couples with the resources to manage conflict and love each other well. For more information about Gottman Method Theory at Minnesota Renewal Center and if it is right for you, inquiries@minnesotarenewal.org.