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Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT)

Emotionally focused couples therapy (EFT) is a resource meant to help couples move out of relationship distress and into a more fulfilling and loving relationship. According to the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy, EFT is based on attachment theory and highlights the importance of secure emotional connections in relationships. The goal of EFT is for clients to recognize and challenge the negative patterns in their relationships that cause damage. 

EFT is a short term therapy that typically takes between 8 to 20 sessions, depending on the needs of the couple. The process involves three stages: 

  1. Cycle de-escalation: helping the couple understand their negative interaction patterns and how they create a cycle of disconnection. 

  2. Restructuring interactions: fostering positive patterns of communication and interaction and leading the couple to a more secure attachment bond. 

  3. Consolidation: encouraging the couple to use these positive patterns and deeper connection in their daily lives to create a more resilient relationship. 

EFT recognizes that the most important things in life are our relationships with our loved ones, and that strong bonds are crucial for relationship satisfaction. Many couples develop destructive patterns of interacting with each other during conflict. However, these patterns can be changed and improved through vulnerability and empathy, allowing the couple to experience a more secure relationship. Research shows that over 70% of couples treated with EFT have moved from feeling “distressed” to feeling happy with their relationship and 90% of couples report their relationship has “significantly improved.”

Our EFT therapists understand the importance of couple relationships and that improving them is worth the effort. They are trained to identify harmful patterns that prevent couples from having a close and loving relationship. Additionally, our EFT therapists know how to help couples establish healthy ways of connecting, develop a strong sense of togetherness, and to stay connected in the face of difficulty. To find out more about EFT and if it is right for you and your partner, email inquiries@minnesotarenewal.org.